A Quietude Of The Mind

I’ve made only two posts this year and of what good is a blog that has nothing new to say.

I was hospitalized twice. They diagnosed me as having Gastric Paresis and they did a nuclear medicine Q/V Lung Scan which showed no clots or obstructions in the blood vessels or the bronchial pathways. (Pretty good after 33 years of heavy smoking.)

My heart’s still beating, lungs still breathing. Lungs clear. Neuropathic pain still eating away at me. Diabetes needs a bit of taming.

In March 2013 it’ll be 6 years since I was diagnosed (and about 8 since major symptoms occurred). I read that 50% of those diagnosed die within 5 years of diagnoses. So, I guess I won that lottery but every day is a mystery, another chance of staying here or joining those in the underground in their little boxes of expensive woods and brass plated handles.

It doesn’t matter so much to me because I feel strong and up to anything that may happen.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my life as a child, as a teen and to a lesser degree as an adult. My dreams inspired some of that. I think I dealt with a few behaviours/ways of thinking that I’ve had for many years but didn’t deal with because life and others got in the way.

It’s ironic that now these things would be settled in my mind. I may not get to act upon them as much as I would like but it has lessened some long standing tension which is a good thing.

So that’s how thing stand now. I have been neglecting my obligation as a blog owner to write things. But this has been a busy year and when I have a moment my mind enjoys a bit of quiet. Like any muscle it aches for some quietude to refresh itself and to ready itself for new journeys, new experiences and the ordinary chores of daily life.

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6 Responses to A Quietude Of The Mind

  1. Debbie says:

    Paul, you are an amazing survivor and the fact that you take the time to write a blog post at all is completely to your credit. May your strength of mind continue and I wish you all the best for 2013. Keep on keepin’ on, my friend! 🙂

  2. Diana says:

    Thanks for sharing, I have always enjoyed your website and blogs. I wish you the very best and will keep you in my prayers.

  3. amonyon says:

    I, too, have found myself in my mid-30’s childhood reflection moments because of illness. Appreciate what you do accomplish.

  4. Karin says:

    Paul, I am ready to apologize for not visiting you here more often – because I admire your strength to deal with life’s stones in your way, to deal with pain and hospital visits. I love you as a friend who is always there for me and my website, who is a stopper for any friend on its way down….May you keep on living well, enjoying nature’s beauty and communicating with friends and helping them…
    ChiChi will be in my heart forever! ♥ Karin

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